Fabbing is a common diagnosis today. This term hides the passion for gadgets during communication. Phones, smartphones, and other mobile devices do not leave the hands of people. Now work, communication, learning, and leisure passes through this portal. This is convenient, but isn’t it dangerous for human relationships?
What it is
The term was introduced in 2012. It comes from the two English words phone and snubbing, which means phone and neglect. Thus, not any interaction with the phone can be called fabbing, but only its active use when communicating with other people, at a party, with friends, at the dinner table.
Causes
Psychologists at the University of Kent equate fabbing with other forms of addiction, especially gambling addiction. At the same time, the researchers believe that the main reasons for the abnormal enthusiasm for the gadget are:
- a state of distress;
- depression;
- fears;
- anxiety;
- other psychological problems.
Among fears, the leading one is the fear of missing something important, interesting, falling behind life or failing at work, dropping out of the race for success. People are so absorbed in work that they have forgotten how to relax.
However, not all people get bogged down in their phones because of work. For some, this is a form of entertainment, communication. Why do they go to the virtual world during real meetings? They are more interested there. This means that the real interlocutor is not so important, valuable, attractive. Or these people simply have nothing to talk about, there are no general or interesting topics.
Fun fact: fabbing is the fourth most popular cause of family fights. Money, sexual problems, and parenting disagreements bypass him.
Consequences
Fabbing alienates people from each other. If both people are constantly distracted by the phone, then this is not so scary, but more often one of them suffers. Especially uncomfortable are people who have suffered from fabbing during rare meetings with a friend. Such an attitude causes a complex of negative emotions and feelings: resentment, disappointment, sadness, irritation, a sense of uselessness. Fabbing has led to the fact that people have forgotten how to fully rest, communicate with each other.
Other effects of fabbing:
- It often happens that if phones are put off, then conversations are built around them or social networks. And then I will definitely show you now. People are less and less interested in each other’s affairs, do not notice real emotions, see only a forced smile in photographs.
- A person who is regularly distracted by the phone loses the thread of the conversation, answers vaguely, superficially. Sometimes he ignores everything and just “cheers”. What kind of heart-to-heart communication is there.
- Because of fabbing, the level of trust, belonging, and acceptance between the participants in the conversation decreases. The psychological, non-verbal, emotional connection is weakening. With a gadget, any meeting becomes formal and businesslike, even if it is a date of a couple in love.
- For some people, fubbing becomes an addiction. They update social networks, although nothing changes there from time to time. Fabber is afraid of missing out on a more interesting leisure offer, for example, about a thematic evening in an unusual place, or seeks to catch his friends walking without him. The fear of missing something important and the anxieties that force you to flip through the phone again and again, gradually exhaust the person.
What a fabbing victim feels
Foreign psychologists studied not only fabbers, but also the victims of fabbing. People whose interlocutor is carried away by a smartphone feel:
- jealousy, neglect, feelings of rejection, repulsion – 29%;
- irritation, anger, indignation – 20%;
- confusion, absurdity of the situation, dislike – 12%.
The rest of the survey participants did not feel anything, but this share accounted for less than half of the respondents.
What to do?
Is there any way to deal with fabbing? Yes, if everyone involved wants it. Here are some simple guidelines:
- Let the person stuck in the smartphone know how you feel. Ask politely to put your phone down for the duration of the conversation.
- Play a game. All members of the company put their phones in a box, the one who is the first to reach for the phone pays for the dinner in full. If all participants hold out, then the score is divided equally.
- If you yourself hang on the phone, then leave it at home or do not put it out of your bag at a party, so that there is no temptation to go to the social network, check the page.
- If you have to answer a very important call for work, do it quickly. Don’t forget to apologize to the other person.
Also, consider if the fabbing is signaling that the relationship is out of date. It is possible that you no longer need to meet these people.
Often, the victims of the fabbing look for the problem in themselves: “Why am I so boring? Is the phone more interesting than me? ” Because of this, self-esteem decreases, self-doubt arises. Yes, two people or one can really get bored in the presence of the other, but this does not mean that someone is bad. It’s just that these people are not on their way. But there is no point in hiding in the phone, you need to admit the fact and part with dignity. Often, fabbing disguises relationship problems. Consider if this is your case. Maybe it’s time to dot the i’s?
