Today in Russia there is only one official and socially approved form of family relations – monogamy. But there are other versions of the relationship between men and women on Earth, which have their own psychological and biological prerequisites and are rooted in history.
Family development history
The first form of the family is the tribal community. In order to survive, it was necessary to interact with the entire tribe and community. The household and children were shared. Sexual relations arose, they were called the pre-family form. Why prefamily? Because despite the close relationship, no one bore individual responsibility for the other person.
Gradually, the roles of men and women were separated, responsibility for each other arose:
- the woman was responsible for emotional warmth, maintaining relationships in the group;
- the man was a breadwinner.
Nowadays, this kind of relationship is also found, but not necessarily. It all depends on social norms, the distribution of power and the value of male and female roles.
What’s interesting: men’s occupations (types of activities) are always recognized by society as more important. If a woman does the same, then the importance will be reduced.
The classical redistribution of roles is well explained by Geodakian’s theory. According to her:
- man is the embodiment of change and renewal;
- woman is the embodiment of heredity (preservation and stability).
And even in Chinese philosophy, yin is a woman who is passive and pliant, and yang is a man who is active. These are the two driving forces behind evolution. They also explain variations in the structure of relationships.
But natural prerequisites alone have little effect on the functioning of the family. Social factors are of decisive importance, which either exaggerate the history of roles or alter the classic scenario. Polygamy has become one of the options for the exaggerated acceptance of the role of “a man is a breadwinner and activity, a woman is comfort and subordination”.
Polygamy
Polygamy is a stable relationship between one man and several women. Moreover, in the modern sense, this is not necessarily a sexual relationship. We are talking about social, material and economic relations. In this context, the question arises: is polygamy so alien to our society? If we think in this vein, then any relationship between a man and a woman in which the man’s mother is actively involved is a variant of polygamy.
Polygamy in the classical sense is officially discouraged in our country. But some men have mistresses, which is also a manifestation of polygamy. However, modern women are in no way inferior in this regard.
Polyandry
Polyandry is a relationship between one woman and several men. Not so long ago, the presence of polyandry was recognized only among some peoples of Tibet, but today, as anthropologists have confirmed, this type of marriage is found in 53 peoples.
Polyandry is rooted in matriarchy, that is, the formation of a family around the strength of a woman. There is no unambiguous theory as to whether society passed the idea of matriarchy. Some supporters argue that this was (at the stage when gathering and farming were practiced, not hunting). Others argue that this was not at all.
There is another view of the existence of polyandry – the theory of adaptation. According to her, polyandry is needed in some places for survival and safety. And all means are good in adaptation.
- For example, in places with scarce resources, this will slow down population growth and child mortality.
- It also solves the problem of inheritance if brothers from the same family marry the same woman.
In the most remote villages of India, “polyandry” is still practiced, due to the significant predominance of the female population over the male. More often polyandry is found in remote corners of the Earth (villages, tribes). For example, this is the norm of the Bari tribe. Moreover, they believe that several male seeds can be given to a child at once. And not only “polyandry” is practiced, but also “polyparenting”.
For them, this is the norm, for us – savagery, which once again confirms the influence of culture and the history of society on the human psyche.
Monogamy
Monogamous couples marriage is the youngest form of family organization. The prerequisites for the formation of such relations were:
- the need for permanent sexual relations and procreation;
- excess food and material goods (began to be inherited);
- due to the transfer of accumulated benefits, the issue of paternity arose more acutely, which rooted the need for a stable relationship with one woman;
- increased social demands on women in matters of chastity.
Another powerful impetus was the identification and consideration of the characteristics of a child’s growing up. As we know, he needs constant care, maternal affection, physical and economic security for a long time. And if initially the role of breadwinner was assigned exclusively to a man, today many women can provide for their families themselves.
If we consider the chronology of the historical development of family education, then the following interesting pattern is noted:
- initially, the upbringing and socialization of children fell on the shoulders of the father;
- then the role of the father decreased and the upbringing of children fell on the state, but in fact it was the mother who was engaged in it;
- today there is a completely different trend: parents are trying to shift upbringing to other social institutions or grandmothers, grandfathers, nannies.
However, paired monogamy is officially recognized, although in practice the family is undergoing great changes.
Forces of nature: monogamy or polygamy
It is easier for our society to accept the idea and natural prerequisites for the polygamy of men, but they will look at a woman with a sidelong glance. In fact, every person is naturally inclined to polygamy, which was confirmed by the psychologist K. Ryan. And the idea of the monogamy of women and the polygamy of men is nothing more than a social stereotype. However, a person (whether male or female) is capable of adhering to monogamy, provided that this is his conscious choice. Rhian compares monogamy to vegetarianism.
An interesting fact: in nature, only birds are naturally monogamous (90%), the rest of the animals are polygamous. Only a few are faithful in 3-5% of cases.
What is the key difference in the biological prerequisites of polyandry and polygamy?
- The natural beginning of men makes them leave as many offspring as possible.
- Women, on the other hand, are focused on finding quality, not quantity (the best variant of genes).
However, our society, due to its civilization, makes many social changes in natural impulses. One has only to remember about alimony, as the desire to leave as many offspring as possible disappears. To this are added the foundations and stereotypes of society, the risk of acquiring diseases, and not high-quality or large offspring, complex emotions and feelings, moral norms. As a result, we are witnessing another struggle between the social and the biological in us.
Awareness of the hypothetical predisposition of each person to polygamy is used in family psychotherapy to overcome anxiety, neurosis, jealousy, and phobias. Awareness of the influence of natural forces, some of their release agreed by the spouses (for example, the absence of such extremes as “do not look at the opposite sex”, “do not talk to the opposite sex”) is a guarantee of strong relationships at the present stage of development of the institution of the family.
