“A shoemaker without boots” is a familiar phrase. Indeed, this happens quite often: a hairdresser with unkempt hair, a car mechanic in a “dead” car, a manicure master without a manicure. But such a phenomenon is also found in the social sphere: a child with deviations from a teacher, a psychologist with a bunch of his own problems. Why sometimes people who successfully help others, experts and rescuers of other people’s lives, find themselves at the bottom or in their own despair? One or another psychological problem for psychologists themselves is not uncommon. But what does it say and what does it come from? Let’s figure it out.
Incompetence?
A competent psychologist cannot help only two people: the one who does not want it and himself. Why? Does this really indicate incompetence? No. The problem is in the subjective attitude to their own problems.
Of course, a specialist may suspect that something is wrong, can operate with terms and even concretize his problem in scientific language. But he cannot or does not want to fight her.
There is a misconception that if a psychologist has any problems, then you should not contact him. In fact, it is worth focusing on the reviews and lives of his clients, and not his own. Consider this: both dentists have toothache and the surgeon might need surgery. Then some specialists go to others. The difference is that “it’s inconvenient to do it for yourself, of course”. But the psychologist is also inconvenient to “operate” his inner world.
So, the psychologist cannot help himself:
- due to subjective attitude;
- the inability to see yourself from the outside;
- knowledge of the intricacies of many techniques, for example, based on suggestion.
Thus, on the contrary, the higher the competence of the psychologist, the more likely it is that he will not be able to help himself. Of course, you can record yourself, look from the outside, try to be honest. But a psychologist is also a person. And his subconscious, which knows how they will fight him, turns out to be more cunning than the subconscious of any client.
Nothing good will come of the struggle between the conscious and the subconscious, the struggle between the professional self and the personal self. A psychologist can help himself in only one way – to turn to another psychologist. But even here knowledge of the process from the inside can interfere with therapy. Sometimes the psychologist himself, unwittingly, can subtly bypass any methods, because he knows them like the back of his hand.
However, referring to another psychologist is a treatment, not self-medication, as when trying to help oneself. It is no secret that self-medication does not always help.
Emotional burnout
The psychologist is one of those professions that does not know the days off. At work and at home – interpersonal communication. From which ignorance of one’s own problems can be a consequence of fatigue or its chronic form, as an element of professional burnout.
The desire to relax and at least somewhere not to solve psychological problems is one moment. The second point is the sometimes inability to share your thoughts and experiences:
- “You’re a psychologist”;
- “You yourself know everything”;
- “Think of something yourself.”
No, this does not mean that the psychologist cannot help himself at all. On the contrary, the use of professional knowledge and skills in everyday life is not so rare. When it comes to how to prevent or resolve the conflict, neutralize aggression. But if we are talking about a broader problem, for example, neurosis, addiction, then it is almost impossible to help yourself. And these other examples aggravate fatigue.
Despite “living” the stories of their clients, it is important for the psychologist to remain neutral. This is a skill that all specialists are necessarily taught: to empathize, but not to share, not to take over, to remain objective. Is it possible to maintain a therapeutic position if you are trying to help yourself? So it is not far from serious problems in the form of personality stratification.
Code of Ethics
One of the basic principles of the psychologist’s ethics is impartiality. Just that lack of subjective assessment, which was mentioned above. All data of a psychologist should be obtained only through research, and not in any way rely on appearance, opinions about this person or his own assessment.
How a psychologist violates the code if he tries to help himself:
- When considering their own problems, a psychologist may experience a substitution of concepts. And the assessment of oneself as if from the outside would not be the same self-assessment?
- Respect is another principle of ethics that is also easy to break when considering your own problems.
- Psychologists do not give advice, they guide (although sometimes, to simplify speech, the terms “recommendations” and “advice” are equated). The decision is made by the client himself. But where is that fine line between hint and advice, if the psychologist and the client are one person?
Epilogue
The psychologist is entitled to his own problems. This does not mean that he is incompetent. If his imperfections do not interfere with his professional activities, then you should not give this special attention.
Psychology, like medicine, the police, often includes people who have faced certain problems or injuries and want to deal with them. A competent psychologist must have developed methods of self-regulation, regularly conduct reflection, self-improve and undergo preventive (and, if necessary, therapeutic) courses of psychotherapy.
So, why can’t the psychologist (doesn’t want) to help himself:
- subjective attitude;
- substitution of the concepts of “assessment” and self-esteem “, bias;
- tiredness or burnout;
- high competence, vision of the therapy process from the inside;
- by virtue of competence, the complex work of the subconscious and consciousness.
Remember Baron Munchausen, who pulled himself by the hair? This is how a psychologist who helps himself looks like.
The task of the psychologist is to keep under control your inner chaos, if it has arisen. And chaos is not such a rarity, when you pass through yourself a huge number of other people’s problems and every minute of your life you see, perhaps, a little more than the average person. In addition, by virtue of the profession, the psychologist regularly sees any situation in several projections, outcomes and from the position of several people at once. Sometimes the option to preserve the harmony of a loved one through your own contradictions is the best option.
