Egocentrism – the inability or inability of a person to take, understand, represent someone else’s position; perception of one’s opinion as the only correct one. This is not synonymous with egoism, but sometimes it can be its extreme form, the next stage. The main difference between egoism and egocentrism is that the egoist represents other people, but ignores their interests; the egocentric does not represent and does not recognize the very fact of other people, there is only him.
At the same time, egocentrism is a feature of age or a consequence of psychological pathologies. Let’s take a closer look at what egocentrism is and how to get rid of it.
Self-centeredness and its consequences
Pathologically, egocentrism can be, for example, a consequence of autism, schizophrenia, hysteria. But this is more related to clinical psychology. This article will focus on the egocentrism of a mentally healthy person, but problematic from the point of view of psychology.
Egocentrism literally translates as “I am the center of the circle.” A person stubbornly does not see anything that happens outside the boundaries of the space he has drawn. Even if an individual feels obvious contradictions, it will never occur to him that there is a solution to them all around. The egocentric is limited in opportunities for a prosperous life.
An egocentric, that is, a person suffering from egocentrism, often finds himself in a situation of conflict or loneliness due to the fact that he does not recognize the right of others to their personal feelings, desires, needs and interests.
It is impossible not to note the variety of judgments and opinions of the egocentric in relation to himself and some things about himself. Accordingly, the behavior of the egocentric is diverse.
Egocentrism affects the motives and behavior of the individual. For example, a self-centered person is incapable of love. He is always not satisfied with something in a partner, first of all, his goals and interests. As a result, the egocentric becomes a tyrant for his partner:
- jealous;
- jealous;
- hates;
- affects the life of a partner in the way he sees fit.
Of course, the egocentric tries to disguise his true feelings and desires. However, if this fails, then he becomes angry and irritated even more.
A close person for an egocentric is a thing that he uses. Criminologists point out that self-centered people often become criminals.
In general, self-centeredness is a childish trait, and it is forgiven only for children. Their thinking is just beginning to develop. For an adult, egocentrism is a sign of infantilism, immaturity of the personality, and problems with thinking.
- A 3-5-year-old child does not distinguish between subjective and objective, only closer to entering school he begins to understand that there are other points of view. And his opinion is not necessarily correct and certainly not the only one.
- Gradually, the formation of self-awareness occurs, the child separates himself from the outside world. Of course, this is only possible with work and the help of parents. They convey verbally and visually that the child is not the only person in the world.
- A repeated surge of egocentrism is observed in adolescence, which is associated with an identity crisis. With a favorable passage of the crisis of adolescence, egocentrism disappears.
- Adults suffering from self-centeredness probably failed to adequately pass the stage of adolescent identity.
What’s interesting: the egocentric is often dissatisfied with himself, but this does not prevent him from respecting only himself. At the same time, he tries to convince everyone else, because they, fools, make mistakes and themselves do not understand what they say and do. The egocentric teaches everyone to live. He does not perceive people as equals, although he can let like-minded people into his circle. And it would not be bad if the views of the egocentric did not change so often. And then people themselves should be some kind of voluntary masochists, weak-willed slaves.
Causes of self-centeredness
Egocentrism is a violation of personality identification, the formation of self-awareness, the definition of boundaries between a person and other people. As a result of the deformation of identity, he does not understand where his personality and desires are, and where the other person begins.
Along with this, a person ceases to assimilate the values of society. He hears them, but does not analyze or transform them into his beliefs. Thus, egocentrism is a consequence of incorrect personality development, a reflection of an identity crisis. How it looks internally:
- inadequate self-image and ideas about other people;
- denial of the significance and value of another person, based on this unrealistic plans for the future;
- destruction of moral values or loss of material values with which the egocentrist identified himself.
All people face an identity crisis, but 2 solutions are possible: constructive and destructive. Egocentrism is a variant of the destructive path. By denying the value and uniqueness of other people, the egocentric gradually loses his own uniqueness. Completion of identity becomes impossible.
Identity is not possible without identifying oneself and comparing with other people, but the egocentric is too fixated on himself. Therefore, he does not have such an opportunity. Moreover: the egocentric does not recognize not only other people, he does not see the whole society, the history of mankind, the real prospects of his own life.
Identity is needed for self-knowledge, self-knowledge is needed for personality development. Thus, we can say that the egocentric has stalled in his development. He does not so much harm others as he limits his own freedom and potential, despite the concentration on his own desires. Here’s a paradox.
An interesting fact: egocentrism is more common in women, egocentrism returns to old age in the manner of a child due to senile depression of the intellect.
Types of egocetrism
There are 3 types of selfishness:
- Informative. Characterizes the perception and thinking of a person.
- Moral. Inability to perceive the moral basis of people’s actions.
- Communicative. It assumes a disregard for giving meaning to information, that is, a person does not follow the wording, and sometimes the reliability of information.
What to do
How to help an egocentric person
It is not easy to interact with an egocentric person, but if a person is dear to you, you do not want to leave him, but want to help change, then you have to sweat.
- Do not express your displeasure openly if your partner is not ready for it.
- Express your dissatisfaction, but without accusatory forms. Criticize the actions, not the person.
- Try to figure out the reasons for your partner’s self-centeredness. Perhaps this is a defensive reaction, which means that he feels vulnerable, or a manifestation of an inferiority complex, the influence of a sense of shame, intrapersonal conflict or life uncertainty.
- Confidential conversation will help to find out and get rid of it. In the end, the egocentric will be pleased to talk about himself, your task is to approach it correctly.
Most often, the egocentrism of an adult has childhood roots. We need to talk to the child together, independently or with the help of a psychologist (and he always lives within us), to find out what he lacked or lacks. And then work out a specific problem that makes a person fixate on himself and demand the same total worship from others.
What to do if you yourself are self-centered
You will have to work mainly with the help of self-persuasion. For this, it is important to understand and accept a number of truths:
- Every person is a person. He has his own interests, needs and beliefs. No one has the right to encroach on this freedom.
- There are social stereotypes, beliefs and values. To accept them or not to accept them is everyone’s personal business. But you need to know and recognize them.
Next, you need to change your thinking and behavior, according to these truths:
- Do not be angry with those who ask you to grow up or reckon with the opinions of others. Choose 1-2 people whom you can potentially trust (it is clear that an egocentric does not trust anyone, and therefore potentially).
- Do not expect to be indulged, and do not indulge yourself once you decide to fight.
- Try to describe how other people feel or think about you or the world. It is helpful to further discuss this by speaking out loud. A sort of “guess”. Only by playing true-false can you develop empathy.
- Learn to communicate, take an interest in other people’s lives. Really listen to them.
- Remember I mentioned trust? Ask your friend to guide you all day with only his wishes, but at the same time commenting on each step. Firstly, you will feel yourself under the influence of an egocentric, and secondly, you will see the world through the eyes of another person.
- Consciously force yourself to regularly think about how other people are feeling. Gradually it will become a habit. You can do this in writing at first.
- Do not give advice and guidance unless asked to do so. Who cares – they themselves will be asked to talk about your success, and you will, on all grounds, be able to talk about yourself to your beloved (this, by the way, is not such a rarity if you make a circle of close friends and are ready not only to talk, but also to listen).
- Make it a rule, before you call someone or come to visit, to figure out if this person is ready to see you, if he can help. For example, in a home with small children, early or too late calls are likely to be discouraged.
- Read literature, watch films, and then retell the plot on behalf of several heroes. This will help in the future to understand other people.
- Talk to your friends about specific situations. Let them tell their vision, compare it to yours.
- Engage in socially significant activities or enroll in drama school. The egocentric lacks recognition, a sense of significance and relevance. But if you do something like that, then do not shout about it at every step. Otherwise it will again become pure egocentrism.
Epilogue
Every person is unique. This is the beauty. We complement each other, let us grow, sometimes we entertain. To get rid of self-centeredness, it is important to learn to calmly, and when asked, express your point of view. But at the same time, recognize the rights of another person to an excellent opinion, be able to also calmly listen to him. Living in a world of copies is boring.
Thus, egocentrism is a personality cult supported by the same personality. Its prerequisites may be family upbringing like the “idol of the family”, and the status of the only or disliked child in the family, and egoism, and permissiveness, and high status, and underdevelopment of the individual. But you can fight egocentrism. Another question: will the egocentric himself want this? If so, it will not be easy for him, but the changes are real. Otherwise, nothing will come of it.
