There are people who are constantly waiting for a trick from others, worried, always dissatisfied with something. We are talking about a neurotic personality. A neurotic is a problem for others. But he himself suffers no less.
Psychological portrait of a neurotic
The neurotic is very dependent on the surrounding opinion, his mood is unstable, the reactions are ambiguous. A negative emotional background prevails. The neurotic is inclined to notice the negative, it is easy to plunge into dark thoughts. It is very difficult to get a person out of there.
In addition, the neurotic is characterized by:
- self-doubt;
- fears;
- experiences;
- suspicion;
- distrust;
- obsession with their own experiences;
- intolerance to criticism;
- the need for the approval and disposition of all people.
The neurotic tends to blame himself and others. He is afraid that he will be mistaken, that he will not cope, for which he will receive public censure.
The neurotic has a distorted idea of love, human relationships. Everyone knows that no relationship is complete without contradictions and criticism. A neurotic, however, perceives any criticism as a betrayal, an insult. Any request, especially in the form of a demand, provokes a nervous breakdown. Any remark towards a neurotic ends with a scandal, an emotional outburst. In addition, the neurotic is prone to pathological baseless jealousy.
The neurotic’s partner will never be left alone, because the neurotic type does not tolerate loneliness and is distinguished by egocentrism. The neurotic has a tendency to constantly call to talk about “nothing.” He does not understand that other people have their own desires, deeds, that a person can just get tired. A neurotic will respond to a request to be alone with a scandal. As a rule, the relationship of a neurotic is dependent or codependent.
It is not easy for neurotics in the professional sphere. Fears make choices very difficult, including professional self-determination. The neurotic constantly doubts, rushes about, abandons the case halfway through.
Inconsistency, inconstancy is one of the main traits of a neurotic. He behaves in the same way in the sexual sphere: either imposes a complete ban, or leads a riotous lifestyle.
Examples of neuroticism
It’s hard not to notice a neurotic in everyday life:
- A beautiful girl who is convinced of her own unattractiveness, and interprets signs of attention as a search for benefits.
- The shop worker, who has never made a mistake in 7 years of work, has earned the trust of the entire plant, but is convinced that he works poorly. Or every day he goes to work with the fear that he will not succeed.
- An artist, composer, culinary specialist who is never satisfied with his work, product. He calms down a little only after receiving praise and approval from the environment.
Another characteristic and noticeable feature in everyday life is the inability to refuse or express your opinion, call, ask for help. The neurotic has many inner prohibitions. He cannot refuse a product imposed in the store or an invitation to an unwanted meeting.
Types of neurotics
American psychoanalyst and psychologist Karen Horney identified two possible ways a neurotic can deal with his own anxiety:
- Pathological search for love, affection. Excessive intimacy with every person.
- Search for prestige, power, possession of something or someone. Humiliation, infringement of other people.
Other options for struggle: going into alcoholism, self-justification, denial.
All of the above is easy to notice in life. Especially the neurotic drive for success. The neurotic wants to be the best in everything.
Karen Horney identified three types of neurotic personality: subordinate, aggressive, detached.
Subordinate
This type of neurotic moves towards people. It is important for him to have at least someone nearby: a friend, a spouse. But the cohabitant has been prepared in advance for the role of the patron. He must protect, protect the neurotic, solve his problems and even be guilty of failures. In general, relationships are based on manipulation, exploitation. The neurotic is convinced of his own weakness and the strength of others, although in fact the situation may look the opposite.
Aggressive
Moves against people. An aggressive neurotic thirsts for power, trusts no one, goes over their heads. All life is perceived as a struggle, a race, a rivalry. The aggressive neurotic seeks personal gain in everything. He does not admit mistakes, does not know how to lose. Blames other people for failures.
However, the desire for prestige stems from the same unmet need for security. And fear and anxiety turn into an inner sense of shame. Therefore, the neurotic will never be satisfied with his success.
Prohibitions with this type of neuroticism are imposed on the manifestation of emotions and feelings. The neurotic becomes a good “working machine.” He can really achieve professional success, look free. But is it possible to call a person a person if he does not know how to feel, and is only capable of showing aggression?
Detached
Moves from people. Because of anxiety and tension in moments of communication, the neurotic decides to separate from the world. He withdraws into himself, transforms all relationships into formal status, imposes a ban on the expression of emotions and experiences. He does not tolerate advice, does not enter into serious, long-term relationships, does not enter into contracts. Avoids any situations that encroach on his independence, self-sufficiency.
To maintain integrity, the neurotic needs a satisfied need for independence, solitude, and self-sufficiency. But the problem is that independence is becoming a goal for him. He doesn’t know what to do with her. As a result, he again finds himself alone with his problems.
At the same time, the need to be significant is expressed. Quite often, isolated neurotics have talents and intellectual abilities. They just do not dare to declare this to the whole world. After all, this automatically entails requirements and responsibilities.
The more a person runs away and hides, the less its vitality.
What is neuroticism combined with
The neurotic personality has features of asthenism and hysteria. With external well-being, such a person will still have internal discomfort. Remember the donkey Eeyore? Here is the most striking example of a neurotic with elements of asthenia.
Uncontrollable neuroticism shackles a person’s hands. Mistakes frighten the personality so much that the neurotic prefers to give up and do nothing. And even numerous positive experiences do not diminish fear and anxiety. The neurotic is too insecure and obsessed with failure.
Neuroticism is sometimes a way to attract attention, manipulate. The neurotic personality asks not to be disturbed, to be left alone. As a result, her problems are often solved by other people’s empathizing people. And then the neurotic is at the same time in the spotlight and avoids life’s difficulties.
Often neuroticism is complemented by somatic disorders: headaches, arrhythmia, hypotension or hypertension. The neurotic irritates and oppresses any sound. This is a weak personality suffering from irrational fears and anxieties.
Condition correction
To prevent neuroticism as a personality trait from developing into neurosis, follow a few rules:
- Relax in nature more. Neurosis is a disease of urban people. The hectic pace of life provokes the development of anxiety.
- Review your environment. Try to be around positive, confident, strong people. Remove emotional trash from life, avoid people in the role of victim.
- Solve problems on a rolling basis. See a psychologist to work through trauma. Neurosis does not arise by itself, it is preceded by a specific psychological problem, unprocessed emotions, experiences.
The neurotic craves love and attention. We need to find rational ways to satisfy this need. Pity is a destructive form.
Neuroticism, which prevents a person from living normally, requires an appeal to a psychotherapist. It is necessary to work in three directions: the formation of an adequate self-perception in a person, getting rid of an inferiority complex, and the formation of a sense of security. The neurotic is very vulnerable, which is often due to an unmet need for security.
The neurotic personality type and neurosis are different things, but the former, under appropriate conditions, easily turns into the latter. If anxiety has begun to noticeably interfere, it is recommended to see a psychologist. Better not to delay with this.
