Even a person who does not know the exact definition of cynicism will easily recognize a cynic if faced with him: sarcastic, harsh, grinning, sarcastic. A robot, an insensitive brute, a strong personality, an unhappy and offended person – as soon as they do not call cynics. Some want to become like that, while others dream of avoiding it in their lives. Why is there such a different attitude?
Cynicism and cynicism
The modern concept of cynicism was preceded by the ideology of cynicism. What did this imply? Cynics opposed themselves to society, denied social norms and generally accepted values. They emphasized that any human needs, including biological ones (animals), are natural, correct and allowed. Of course, complete freedom often looked antisocial and looked more like arbitrariness. Kinism was a counterculture, and its representatives called themselves marginalized.
Modern cynicism is not so active and pronounced. It is more often limited to thinking, mental opposition of the individual to society, and not to active actions.
What is cynicism
Cynicism is a worldview in which a person denies higher feelings such as love. Let us use this example to analyze the views of a cynic. He believes that there is no love. This is nothing more than a set of chemical reactions and imposed emotions and feelings by those who benefit from it, for example, manufacturers of gifts for lovers. He believes that it cannot exist, there are only different illusions invented and supported by people for some purpose.
Negativity and denial of a cynic is aimed at love, feelings and emotions close to it, all universal human values (compassion, pity, sympathy, mercy). He treats this with disdain, contempt, sarcasm.
When we try to guess the motives of other people, we are actually talking about our intentions, about how we would act. So the cynic is convinced of the commercialism of others, because he himself evaluates everything in life from the point of view of its usefulness for him.
Reflection and criticality prevail in the thinking of a cynic. He is pessimistic and negative about any changes, accepts with a dry mind and immediately assesses for benefits. The cynic constantly analyzes himself and his actions, the actions of other people. To a compliment, a question about how he is doing, or a declaration of love, he will immediately answer: “What do you need? Speak right away. ” For a cynic, there is no concept of “just like that.”
What psychology says
The image of a cynic is perfect for works of art and films, you can talk endlessly about the topic of cynicism and its opposite (romanticism). And what does psychology think about this?
The problem of love is one of the most difficult topics. In short, the concept of “unconditional love” is highlighted in science, which implies the acceptance by the mother of her child as he is. If we talk about love between a man and a woman, then on the one hand, such acceptance should also be, but on the other hand, the author of the theory of love Erich Fromm gave her the following definition: “This is an active interest in the life and development of the object of love”. It is also known that healthy relationships involve mutually beneficial collaboration between two mature individuals.
And yes, chemistry is also not complete, but it determines passion, love, and not love. Love is the result of difficult and long-term work of two people. It is a complex of feelings and emotions, shared experience, support and help.
Thus, love is really always endowed with a goal and benefits, more precisely, love itself (strong relationships) is the goal. Every person has a need for love and a need to be meaningful. Both are satisfied in the relationship. In fact, all relationships (not only love relationships) involve the mutual exchange of experience, knowledge, skills, elements of the inner world, etc.
As for third-party participants in the relationship (“gamblers” on the theme of love), this is a matter of consumption. By the way, it can be solved without any problems in a pair – not to allow profiting from your feelings, to realize the dubiousness of flowers, teddy bears and resorts for a couple, which are three times more expensive than usual. You can and should demonstrate your love with actions that do not require costs: hug, listen, support, talk, etc. When it comes to shopping, then there is no point in chasing signs “for couples”, “for families”, “for beloved “,” For a loved one “and others.
Causes of cynicism
Cynicism is necessary in some professions. So, for example, cynicism protects a doctor from emotional burnout, nervous breakdowns, allows you to do your job with high quality. Rescuers, firefighters, psychologists, sappers, police officers must work with cold calculation, controlling any feelings and emotions.
Why are doctors, judges, policemen not allowed to handle the affairs of their relatives? The risk is too high. Too many emotions and subjective attitudes. We need someone else who can rationally, cynically and objectively approach the issue.
Therefore, people of such professions either become cynical in the course of work, or come into the profession already like that. This is their defense mechanism, which determines the preservation of personal health and work efficiency. But this is not the only reason for cynicism. From somewhere the same “already like this” come from.
Cynicism is a product of the spiritual and moral formation of an individual. Under what conditions does a person begin to doubt kindness, unconditional love and selflessness:
- mental pain, disappointment, negative personal experience that turned on the defense mechanism – cynicism;
- rude and authoritarian parents, incapable of love and high feelings;
- the experience of an intrapersonal and existential crisis, the loss of ideals, the collapse of illusions and hopes, a sense of the injustice of the world;
- a sense of threat and insecurity, loss of support in life;
- feeling of impunity, conviction of their own superiority;
- selfishness and pride;
- the desire to express individuality, to oppose stereotypes and conformism.
Thus, people become cynics after negative experiences in family or love relationships, or when other people are subordinated to them. Disappointment and a god complex are the main causes of cynicism.
Cynicism as a consequence of psychological trauma is more common. Denial is one of the mechanisms of psychological defense. And cynicism is essentially denial.
How to fight
From the material in the third paragraph of this article, one might think that science makes people cynics. May be. In approximately the same way, for a person, the feeling of magic and magic from tricks or phenomena of the surrounding world disappears if he understands the laws of physics and chemistry.
The problem is that you need to surround yourself with the right people to avoid misunderstandings and resentment. Cynicism becomes a problem when it completely deprives a person of family, relationships, friends. And since a person is a social being, his development is impossible without contacts.
If you have definitely decided to fight cynicism, then you should start with the development of humanity in yourself. What this implies:
- sympathy;
- compassion;
- prioritizing spiritual values.
Cynicism comes into contact with selfishness and realism. The cynic is driven by the idea of satisfying his own needs and interests, material and personal desires. He expects the same from others. If you want to get rid of cynicism – develop romanticism and eliminate selfishness. Begin to selflessly do something for others, develop empathy, learn to empathize.
Remember the last time you enjoyed life and saw something beautiful. It was necessary, because cynicism is an acquired feeling. Cynics are those who are disappointed in life and want to hide from the world. Go back to that moment and try to recreate it now.
Perhaps the entire modern society can be called cynical. But positive examples have also survived, confirming the existence of spiritual values. Pay attention to positive examples, such as how people around the world raised funds for someone’s treatment, or how a doctor performed a free operation. There are many similar examples, you just have to want to see them. But be careful not to fall into romanticism and building castles in the air.
The war between good and evil will never cease to exist, as will the precarious position of each person between them.
