The fear of death is inherent in all people, but for some it is within the normal range and is associated with the instinct of self-preservation, while someone is pathologically afraid of death, suffers from irrational anxiety and obsessive thoughts. It is impossible to get rid of the fear of death, but it is possible and necessary to reduce its severity to normal. We will talk about this.
Fear of death as the norm
The response to danger is biologically inherent in humans. The fear of death is part of the general sense of danger, it is an animal reaction. Only animals have no fear itself, but they have an instinct for self-preservation and preservation of their offspring. And there is no fear, because animals live one day. In this they are similar to children and infantile adults. They react only to real danger in the present tense, and then immediately forget about it.
When we first learn about death, we are frightened by the irreversibility, inevitability and uncertainty of this stage. Moreover, we are afraid both for ourselves and for the people who are significant to us. However, those people who value and love life, are concerned about their development, procreation and self-actualization, worry about thoughts of death more often. Nobody knows how many days are set aside to achieve the set goals. The fear of not being in time is the main prerequisite for the fear of death.
The problem in our society is that many people separate death from the cycle of life, perceive it as the end. And from the point of view of developmental psychology, this is another stage of the life cycle. But we do not know for sure whether there is life after death or not. And it is this uncertainty that scares people.
I want to point out that this can only be called the end from a biological point of view. From the point of view of psychology, everything is not so simple: if a person has lived an active life, left his mark on history or the lives of individuals, then death can hardly be called the end of life.
Fear of death as a pathology
The fear of death cannot be considered a pathology as long as it does not interfere with a person’s normal life, as long as the person does not suffer from obsessive thoughts. Otherwise, we are talking about a clinical problem – thanatophobia.
Thanatophobia – fear of death in the absence of a real threat. That is, a person and his family are healthy and young, their life is determined and measured, but fear and thoughts of death still breathe in the back. This is a form of neurosis.
The reasons for the development of thanatophobia include:
- fear of losing control;
- fear of not having time to be realized in life, to finish what was started;
- a combination of hysterical and elliptoid personality types;
- fear of losing those benefits and pleasures that are (someone, for example, worries that they will not see a new episode of their favorite TV series);
- fear of aging;
- lack of meaning in life, associated experiences;
- psychotrauma associated with a life-threatening situation or someone’s death, a mass tragedy;
- suggestibility, suspiciousness and anxiety as personality traits.
The fear of the death of a loved one requires special consideration. Most often, the reason lies in the dependence of one partner on the other. If we are talking about the fear of losing children, then this is due to the fear of our own death and dependence on the child. For most people, children are a way of self-realization, life extension, the meaning of life.
How to get rid of thanatophobia
The fear of death is the result of a combination of the work of the subconscious, the ability to predict and analyze the future. As we have already said, the unknown frightens: what will happen after me and what will happen to me if someone close to me dies.
How to get rid of irrational experiences:
- Transform the unknown into the known. Determine for yourself whether there is life after death. Someone finds solace in faith (just avoid cults, sects and fanaticism), someone decides to leave their mark on science, creativity.
- If you are afraid of the death of loved ones, then think about what it is connected with: fear of loneliness, psychological or material dependence on someone. If you understand that you will not die physically (you have housing, work, education), then the fear will decrease. We will never be psychologically ready for the death of a loved one, but this is a different process and a topic for a separate article – living in a tragedy. In any case, you need to solve the problem as it arrives, and not poison the present with negative fantasies. While you are together, enjoy every minute.
- Analyze the aphorism of the ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus: “Death is nothing for a person, because when we exist, death does not yet exist, and when death comes, then we no longer exist.” Do not poison your own life, but direct your energy and creative thinking in the right direction, fill every day with meaning.
- Harmonize all aspects of life, develop comprehensively. This advice is more relevant for the fear of death of loved ones. If your whole world revolves around one point, roughly speaking, you are standing on one leg, then losing this support means completely lost. And if you stand firmly on both legs, you will be able to maintain balance even if the support is partially weakened.
- Take care of your body and mind: proper nutrition, normal sleep, exercise, exercise and brain development. The better your condition, the more confident you are. In addition, this is an element of control that is lacking in thanatophobia: you take care of yourself, you yourself decide what to eat, what exercises to include in your workout.
- Increase your resistance to stress, do not let the outside world manipulate you. The media, superstitions, fortune telling and horoscopes, dream books – all this can inspire fear. Much of the manipulation is based on the fear of the victim.
- Think back to your life before birth. Don’t you remember? That’s it. The same happens at the moment of death, after it.
In conclusion, we recommend that you read our articles “How to get rid of fear – advice from a psychologist” and “How to get rid of fear of death – advice from a psychologist”. In them you will find other ways to fight and tips.
