Communication is an important part of relationships, especially romantic ones. Through discussion, observation of facial expressions and reactions, we learn more about the partner. Neutral conversations about abstract heroes often lead to stories from personal experience. And some people simply cannot live without communication. Then the question often arises, what to talk to a guy about?
General recommendations
First of all, you need to follow the most banal, but effective advice – ask the young man directly what he is interested in, what he would like to talk about. Or watch from the sidelines and find out what he talks about with friends, what films he watches, what he enjoys.
For some reason, girls often believe that communication between a couple and friends should be radically different. This is true only when it comes to your personal matters, otherwise the romantic relationship should be saturated with the same kind of companionship.
How else to prepare for the conversation:
- Find the guy’s page on the Internet and see what he is interested in. But do not try to communicate on topics that are not interesting to you or on topics in which you are poorly versed. Such a conversation will not work out right away, as well as a relationship.
- Don’t think in a formulaic way. Even this article should not be taken as a direct guide to action. Each person is unique, as are his interests. Someone like meetings like interviews, and someone wants to talk about everything in a row, about what surrounds them. The third person does not like to talk a lot at all.
- Stop the conversation if the person delicately or directly speaks about the unwillingness to communicate on this topic.
- Avoid understatement, ambiguity, if this does not apply to harmless flirtation.
- Don’t ask for compliments about your flaws. This is usually backwards and annoying.
- Don’t get hung up on talking about yourself – few people like narcissism.
What to talk to a stranger about
First meetings are always somewhat reminiscent of an interview. You can ask a stranger or unfamiliar guy:
- about your favorite music, group;
- about the books read;
- about the usual leisure;
- about study, work;
- about the family, but with this topic you need to be very delicate;
- about your favorite pastime;
- about the most daring, unusual actions in life;
- about sports, perhaps you will go in for training together in the future;
- about animals.
On the first date, it is permissible to ask about what type of girls the young man likes, what attracts women. If he deliberately emphasizes your resemblance to the described image, then this is also a great option to express sympathy.
Topics for conversation with a good friend
If you have known your chosen one for a long time, then keep secret with him, share something personal. But do not be naive and gullible – first, think about whether this recommendation is suitable for your chosen one. On the whole, heart-to-heart conversations undoubtedly bring people closer together.
Other Topics:
- new movies, music in his and your favorite genre;
- going to the cinema with further discussion;
- memories from childhood, school years (they are very similar for people of about the same age);
- plans for life;
- dreams and desires;
- past experience;
- cooking (find out what he likes and cook this dish next time);
- relationships with family, friends;
- jokes, funny stories from life;
- personal success, self-development;
- the model of the desired relationship, family (this also applies to plans for life);
- personal boundaries, acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship;
- the latest news relevant to your city.
The conversation is easiest to build around general topics. Find or create common ground with a guy: visit an attraction, exhibition, presentation, theater, museum, concert, match.
You need to be careful when discussing shortcomings, failures, bad habits, fears, weaknesses, past relationships, in no case do not talk about someone in comparison. People also talk about these topics, but you don’t need to be intrusive. And usually these topics are available to close friends.
Questions of politics and religion also deserve special attention. On the one hand, these topics can be discussed for a long time, on the other hand, this is another minefield.
Rules for a successful conversation
The success of a conversation depends not so much on the topic as on a number of other conditions:
- interest in the topic of conversation;
- understanding the meaning of the conversation;
- naturalness, openness, honesty;
- eye contact, lively and appropriate facial expressions;
- dialogue, not a monologue;
- listening carefully with pertinent questions;
- parallel compliments;
- open-ended questions that do not imply an unambiguous answer “yes” or “no”, but imply a detailed answer.
Men do not like hints, complaints and whining, discussion of several topics at once. They also hate being interrupted. Read more about the peculiarities of the work of the female and male brain in the article “10 psychological differences between men and women.”
Epilogue
Give the young man the opportunity to build a line of conversation on his own. Notice what is meaningful and valuable to him, what he pays attention to (details or essence). Pay special attention to the little things. Ask him to describe one of his last trips somewhere and analyze what he liked and what did not. A person describes any event, focusing on personal values and needs.
There is no need to write a script for the meeting and follow it. The most enjoyable and important conversations happen spontaneously. Moreover, it is an important indicator of closeness with a person: if you have nothing to talk about, then it may not be worth building a relationship. Soulmates have topics of their own accord, and there is never enough time to discuss them.
