We get annoyed when we allow someone or something to tease us, or rather react to it. Why do we react? Because it has something to do with us, hits the patient, contradicts beliefs, desires, needs. Based on this, the reasons for irritability are different, but the methods of struggle are approximately the same.
Reasons for irritability
Irritation is a reaction in the form of negative emotions directed towards someone or something (internal or external stimulus). Irritation precedes anger and dangerously outbursts of anger. This is the first signal from the body that something needs to be changed; it is impossible to tolerate the current conditions further. The scheme for the development of emotions is as follows: discontent (disappointment), irritation, anger, anger, rage, affect. I think this makes it clear that irritation needs to be dealt with.
Irritation as a feeling is common to all people. This is fine:
- For example, we get annoyed when something doesn’t work out for us, or when we have a cold.
- In addition, irritability is a variant of character accentuations.
- In some cases, irritability is due to hormonal changes, for example, during adolescence, women during pregnancy or before menstruation. With other hormonal disruptions, irritability also makes itself felt.
- Irritability occurs at the moment of getting rid of a habit (alcohol, smoking, coffee, sweets) or forced hardships (hunger, poor hygiene, lack of sleep). The body rebelles and demands to satisfy its natural need.
The described cases do not cause such fears as the situation in which irritation turned into irritability and became a character trait. The most popular cause of chronic irritability is a feeling of inferiority, loss of status and place in life. Simply put, dissatisfaction with oneself and living conditions.
Symptoms of irritability
You can suspect the appearance of irritability if irritation occurs every day and not just once, namely:
- irritation lasts more than 7 days;
- because of him, relations in the family, at work, with friends deteriorate;
- a feeling of inner tension grows, it becomes chronic;
- headaches appear;
- every day a person seems to “get up on the wrong foot”;
- discomfort is felt everywhere, wherever they are and whatever they are doing.
Additional symptoms of irritability include:
- decreased memory and concentration;
- sleep disturbances;
- general weakness, fatigue and apathy;
- muscle and joint pain;
- migraine.
Other symptoms (individual reactions of the body) can also make themselves known, but this complex inevitably signals a weakening of the body’s defenses, the need to combat irritability.
The attacks of irritation themselves are manifested individually. Some people manage to keep outward calm to the last, but boil inside (you can’t do that), others fall into hysterics and tears, and still others break down at everyone.
Irritability in women
Women more often than men suffer from irritability, which is due to psychophysiological characteristics (increased emotionality, natural regular changes in hormonal levels) and greater workload. Most women have to combine work, parenting and housekeeping.
Hormonal changes during pregnancy and menopause contribute. In this case, irritability is accompanied by:
- tearfulness,
- resentment
- sleep disorders
- a decadent mood
- fears.
Hormonal problems are treated by an endocrinologist and gynecologist. If the reason is fatigue or dissatisfaction, then you need the help of a psychologist and a change in lifestyle.
Irritability in men
In men, irritability is more often due to social reasons: workload, fatigue, conflicts, family difficulties. If this is superimposed on an inner feeling of dissatisfaction, low self-esteem and a sense of the meaninglessness of life, then the situation is aggravated.
Male irritability often turns into outbursts of anger and becomes destructive. However, men can restrain irritation longer, endure, remain silent. Where a woman immediately starts screaming, the man will remain silent. But this is precisely why their irritability looks more destructive.
Irritability in children
The reasons for children’s irritability are not much different from the manifestations of that in adults: psychophysiological characteristics, the influence of upbringing, fatigue, fears, anxiety, self-doubt. In addition, irritability can be a form of protest against excessive parenting or, on the contrary, authoritarian upbringing.
Irritability is manifested more emotionally than in adults. Although the specificity of manifestations depends on the age of the child. For example, young children cry, bite, and scratch more often. Preschool children are stubborn. Younger students violate discipline. Teenagers show aggression, slam doors, withdraw into themselves. In addition to age, reactions depend on the character, temperament (choleric and melancholic people are more prone to irritability) and other congenital characteristics of the child.
How to get rid of irritability
- You need to understand the reasons for constant irritability. Probably, the matter is in the actual internal conflict, accumulated problems, locked emotions or fatigue. Assess your daily routine, nutrition, sleep. Is irritability caused by overwork? If so, change your lifestyle. Perhaps the point is not even fatigue, but one obsessive detail, for example, an uncomfortable chair. Think back to the first time you felt irritable, what discomfort might have caused it.
- If the reason lies deeper (dissatisfaction with yourself, life, work, complexes, anxiety, fear, stress), then honestly describe your desires and claims (which does not suit you). Write down the causes and consequences (both the actual state and the desired one) next to it.
- Take up self-knowledge, make a plan to meet urgent needs. Examine temperament and character. Stubbornness, rigidity, perfectionism, intransigence, conflict, low empathy, selfishness are also causes of irritability.
- Take time every day to rest in the form of a favorite and useful thing. Write a list of 30 favorite things to do (more or less) and choose from it every day.
- Develop self-control. Learn to understand when tension reaches its peak (the urge to scream and stomp, muscle tension is felt, pulse quickens, palms sweat, and so on). Make it a rule at such moments not to make decisions, not to talk, but to engage in self-regulation (auto-training, relaxation, breathing techniques). And only after you calm down, it is rational to solve issues.
- Change your thinking to positive. Give up the phrases “another awful day”, “again nothing good will happen”, “go there again.” Form and speak positive attitudes. Stop noticing only difficulties, problems and setbacks, start seeing opportunities and alternatives.
- Learn to express emotions in a socially acceptable way. At the very least, do not hush up what worries you. Don’t try to avoid conflict or please everyone. Learn to communicate and engage in productive conflicts. To do this, it is enough to calmly inform the interlocutor about your feelings: “I am annoyed by the commanding tone, please speak softer.” And then discuss the differences.
- Express your annoyance at sports, singing karaoke, shouting in the field, and the like.
- Reduce your portions of coffee, sugar, and alcohol, unless the irritation is caused by avoiding them.
- Make friends with yourself, find yourself. Irritability is the body’s defensive reaction. What is he trying to protect you from and induce at least some kind of activity (in this case, destructive and aggressive)? Thank him and start acting consciously.
- Observe yourself, keep a “diary of irritability”, where you will record its appearance, strengthening and weakening. Remove from life, if possible, all irritants (objects and subjects, after contact with which the irritation increases). Perhaps this is the most difficult stage. Especially when it turns out that you need to change jobs or break off relationships, look for the meaning of life. But it needs to be done. The path to happiness and harmony is not easy.
- If you cannot remove the irritant, then learn self-control and change your attitude to the situation.
If the situation does not lend itself to self-correction, then it is worth visiting a psychotherapist. Typically, irritability is treated with cognitive behavioral therapy. Its goal is to help the individual identify the reasons for her behavior and learn how to control these reactions, understand and study herself.
If it is impossible to change external circumstances, a person learns to recognize, accept and adequately respond to traumatic circumstances and difficult life situations. In some cases, sedatives or antidepressants are prescribed.
Emergency help
If you need to deal with irritability urgently:
- Use the count to ten, the method of switching attention to pleasant memories, the technology of changing activities and distractions (walking, running, cleaning), handwriting on paper and tear it, wave your hands.
- After that, write down on paper the possible consequences of irritation and its incorrect expression. Ask how it will hurt you. You need it?
- Conduct auto-training. Say, “I understand that irritation is a bad emotion. I am in control of my emotions. I understand and accept the world around me in its diversity. I live harmoniously and without irritation. I get the joy of being friendly with the world. ” It is better to carry out this auto-training daily.
- Do a breathing exercise. There are many techniques for breathing relaxation. For example, you can use the following technique: take a lying position, inhale through your nose, rounding your stomach, exhale through your mouth, drawing in your stomach. Breathe slowly and deeply. Repeat no more than 10 times. Try another exercise next time: inhale deeply and slowly with your nose, exhale sharply with your mouth and take 3 more pre-exhales. Breathing exercises should be done carefully. It is better to consult a doctor beforehand! For example, it is not recommended to resort to them in case of heart disease and at the time of a cold.
Correction of irritability, like any other psychological problem, requires a private approach. In general, we can only say that you need to look for the causes of fatigue and discontent, and then fight it. It is helpful to check your health for hormonal imbalances. And of course, it is necessary to develop willpower and master the techniques of self-regulation.
