Continuous self-development is a prerequisite for a person’s life. And the main goal of human life is the maximum disclosure of personal potential. But this is impossible without adequate self-criticism and reflection. Through the analysis of actions, character, appearance, we understand what we are not happy with in ourselves, what we want to work on in order to get closer to our own ideal. By the way, the I-ideal is a product of self-awareness of the individual, each person has his own idea of the ideal.
Three “I” personality
To work on yourself, you need to draw up an accurate plan of action. To do this, it is necessary to concretize the advantages and disadvantages, the state of affairs in the present. What a person really is is called the real I. This is what a person can and can do, his actual habits, patterns of behavior, attitudes and beliefs, values, abilities, strengths and weaknesses.
Changes for the better imply a movement towards the ideal self. This is what a person wants to become. Here we are faced with the first danger: you need to have a real idea of your capabilities.
It is important to distinguish between what depends on you and what does not. This is especially true for looks. Someone resorts to surgery, but this is not the best way out. Anything that you cannot change, such as height, nose shape, eye color, must be accepted. It is also impossible to change temperament. Like appearance, it is given from birth.
What can you change in yourself:
- habits;
- character (both general orientation and individual qualities);
- attitudes, beliefs and values;
- behavior;
- speech;
- style;
- image;
- thinking;
- intelligence level.
As for abilities, it is not easy to change them – the makings are given from birth. However, psychologists say that 99% of success depends on hard work. So if you want to master a new profession or hobby, then everything depends only on you. And if in your case hard work is combined with ability, then it will be much easier to achieve success.
Well, the last thing to consider is how other people see you and want to see you. Determine how important the opinion of others is to you. Maybe you are completely independent or want to listen to a couple of loved ones. Be prepared for the fact that your external and internal changes may lead to changes in the environment. It is possible that you will even have to part with someone.
How to start changing outwardly
The human body and psyche are interconnected. Internal changes are reflected in appearance, for example, self-confidence makes you straighten your back, and finding the meaning of life makes your eyes shine. But the same is true in the opposite direction: external changes can change a person’s sense of self:
- Try walking with your back straight and you will notice how your mood improves and your self-confidence grows.
- Smile, and you will notice how the background of the mood stabilizes, the consciousness clears up.
- Put on a dress (for women) or a suit (for men) and you’ll want to match the look, stop swearing or slouching. A woman will want to behave softer, to be more tender, and a man will become more decisive.
Your style should be combined with your attitude and lifestyle. Think about what clothes will suit the new image, what hairstyle will be combined with the inner world. As for the choice itself, it is rather a question for stylists and image makers.
And of course, remember the general rules of personal care. You don’t have to follow fashion or buy expensive brands. It is much more important to be neat: clean skin (depending on mental state and physical health), washed and ironed clothes, styled and trimmed hair.
Although all this is individual, I don’t know what your ideal appearance is. Someone wants to lose weight, and someone wants to gain weight or gain weight. Someone deliberately strives for deliberate sloppiness, for example, adolescents who are sympathetic to subcultures have very specific ideas about ideals and changes for the better.
In general, it’s easy to change, the main thing is to start. Define your ideal and gradually move towards it: hairstyle, clothes, weight, body proportions, behavior. The latter deserves special attention and is more connected with internal changes.
How to start changing internally
You can change your appearance and change your wardrobe in one day, but internal changes will take months and years. Be prepared for this, as well as for the fact that in the process you will adjust the action plan.
What you can do right now:
- Formulate the goal of the changes, compose a portrait of your future. Write a letter from the future to yourself. Reread it when you are tired. This is your motivation to keep changing.
- Write down the habits you want to get rid of on the sheet. Give them up right now. Don’t wait for Monday or the last cigarette. She was already there.
- Write down the qualities that do not suit you and the qualities that you would like to develop.
- Based on the goals and objectives, select books, training courses. Maybe you want to improve your oratory or self-confidence, or learn to play an instrument, master etiquette, or learn a language. Pick up a course and sign up now. If you want to lose weight or improve your shape, then sign up for a consultation with a trainer and nutritionist.
- Take care of time management. Remove time eaters from your life, optimize time.
- Think about what environmental conditions correspond to the ideal self-image. Will your improved version be compatible with your previous profession, place of work, social circle. If not, then this also needs to be thought about. Although, it may be easier after some changes to take a career guidance test and decide on a new type of activity. On the other hand, you can understand what the soul is drawn to, find out what you should be able to, what qualities you have, and begin to develop this in yourself.
- Distinguish between those unsatisfying conditions that you can change and those over which you are powerless. For example, you cannot influence the socio-economic situation of a country, but you can make adjustments to your social and economic status.
- Check with your loved one. Ask him how he will react to your changes, whether he is ready to change with you. Think about what your relationship will look like in the future. Get a support team.
- Start surrounding yourself with the people you want to be like right now. And get away from those who pull you to the bottom, keep you in your old life.
The main rule: do not rush into the pool with your head. You must have a plan and a clear understanding of your trajectory, you must not go “nowhere”.
Epilogue
Change for the better is a way out of your comfort zone. Naturally, emotions and feelings such as fear, anxiety, anxiety, perhaps anger and apathy will arise. Secondary difficulties will arise, for example, misunderstanding on the part of those who remain at your old level of development. It is possible that you will want to give up everything, retreat. At such moments, you need to remember the main goal. For what or who did you decide to change? The motivation must be very strong.
It is both simple and difficult to change at the same time. It’s easy to understand what you want to change, it’s a little more difficult to understand how to achieve the desired result, and even more difficult to achieve a goal and support change.
To make it easier, make a detailed plan. Don’t tackle several tasks at once, break big goals into small subtasks. Read more about this in the article “Why I don’t finish the job. How to learn how to bring the work started to the end – the advice of a psychologist. “
