American composer Ned Rorem said: “Humor is the ability to see three sides of the same coin.” Psychology fully agrees with this opinion. A developed sense of humor really helps to see the situation in a different light, to find more options for solving the problem.
Humor helps to prevent and resolve conflicts, build relationships, and express oneself. This is the quality that attracts men and women alike. But this is only part of the benefits. Humor can also heal our souls. In psychology, there is even therapy with laughter (humor).
Sense of humor in psychology
“If you allow yourself to joke, people don’t take you seriously. And these very people do not understand that there is much that cannot be endured, if not joking, ”- Ernest Hemingway.
By what a person laughs at and how he jokes, you can learn a lot about him, for example, his values and beliefs, principles (or lack thereof), sore spots, features of character and temperament, the level of intelligence and breadth of horizons, the depth of the inner world.
I think you yourself have noticed that it is very easy to make someone laugh, someone understands only direct jokes, someone repeats other people’s samples, and someone jokes himself, but so interesting and sophisticated that it is not always understood by others.
What is the structure of humor and why is the sense of humor different? A sense of humor involves cognitive processes and emotions, as well as physiology.
- Cognitive processes are attention, memory, thinking, imagination and more. The higher these properties of the psyche are developed, the sharper and more interesting a person’s sense of humor.
- What does the physical level have to do with it? This refers to the verbal and non-verbal methods used by the person.
- About emotions it is still more understandable: we are naturally different in temperament, and therefore emotionality. Life experience also contributes. As a result, some are more emotional, some less. Some are dominated by positive, while others are negative.
In order for us to laugh, the message (and humor is always associated with some thought, image) should not be meaningful to us, that is, it should enter into a state of play, and not cause feelings. Hence the resentment with the phrases “What are you doing, I was joking.” There are things you can’t joke about. But the trouble is that for each person these are their own ideas, personal.
From the above, another important function of humor follows: cognition of another person and oneself. Development of their communication skills, empathy, sensitivity, the ability to take the place of another person.
On the same basis, what we joke about, or rather what we take seriously and what we don’t, speaks of our desires and needs, our attitude to a person or some things. Surely, it happened that you yourself did not believe in the seriousness of what was happening to the last.
A healthy and unhealthy sense of humor
A sense of humor is a sign of a mature and healthy personality. However, the sense of humor differs from the sense of humor, it is important to look not only at its presence, but also at its content.
- A healthy sense of humor allows you to interact productively with people and involves flexible personal boundaries.
- Unhealthy humor, as a rule, is destructive in relation to others or oneself, and interferes with the establishment of contacts. And along with this, the immobility of personal boundaries is noted. It is often just about such people that they say that they have no sense of humor.
The most dangerous is black humor, moreover, it is noted that it is characteristic of people with psychoses.
- For example, the humor of schizophrenics is difficult for other people to understand.
- On the other hand, paranoid people do not understand the jokes of healthy people. They see insults and threats.
- Jokes of maniacs scare other people, but you can hear them very often.
The health / illness of humor can be measured using the Humor Styles Questionnaire (by Martin). Studies were carried out using this questionnaire, during which it was revealed:
- Healthy adaptive humor is characteristic of optimists, people with adequate self-esteem and the ability to build close relationships.
- Aggressive humor is seen in dissatisfied people.
- Self-destructive and self-deprecating – in people with mental disorders, accompanied by depression, anxiety and hostility, low self-esteem and dissatisfaction with relationships with people around.
Types of humor
To determine the nature of humor, and hence the personality traits of a person, it is not necessary to communicate with him, it is enough to analyze the products of his work (drawing, script, book, song). This is exactly what R. Silver did. The author used a drawing test. As a result, she identified 7 types of sense of humor:
- Pathological black humor. It is characterized by laughter at situations of death and danger. This is a mockery of other people’s suffering and fears.
- Non-pathological black humor. Laughter also at the situation of death, unhappiness, but provided that the participant in this situation does not demonstrate suffering or fear.
- Derogatory humor. Assumes ridicule and humiliation for some reason.
- Self-deprecating humor. Making fun of your own unpleasant traits.
- Unclear humor. Something detached, not suggesting a specific development of events further.
- Moderately positive humor. It involves overcoming failures with the help of ridicule, good laughter at oneself. Especially for success.
- Expressed positive. Added to the above is a play on words, ridicule of the absurdity and ambiguity of the situation. It’s a playful humor that sometimes brings together multiple characters.
Each person is characterized by the predominance of one or another sense of humor, depending on the situation. But this makes it difficult to differentiate the sense of humor according to the pathology / norm principle.
Functions of humor
Humor is a means of communication, a way of playing and flirting. In psychology, this playful state is called paratelic. What other functions does humor carry:
- helps to join the company;
- can be a variant of psychological protection (saves from personality disorders and internal contradictions);
- acts as a way of expressing aggression or sexuality (interest);
- helps to process information.
In addition, social functions include:
- social activity and the ability to go beyond social boundaries;
- removal of responsibility (if you want to say something, but you are afraid, then say it as a joke);
- regulation of relations;
- protection of social status and hierarchy;
- identity and cohesion.
The main psychotherapeutic function is that humor allows a person to look at their problems, desires, personal qualities from the outside, and then, transforming them into acceptable forms, to accept. This is important for the internal and external integration of a person.
In addition, humor allows you to positively overestimate stressful situations, maintain inner freedom, overcome feelings of despair and difficult life situations – it is also a means of self-regulation.
How to develop a sense of humor (recommendations for every day)
First of all, it is important to understand what is necessary for a sense of humor:
- mature cognitive processes (psychophysiological adulthood);
- formed self-concept and developed self-awareness (personal maturity);
- complex internal organization (deep and wide inner world);
- very well developed abstract thinking.
All this is necessary in order to understand how the subject of jokes relates to the author himself and other people. Of course, everyone can laugh. But it is obvious that the reasons for laughter and the content of the jokes of a child and an adult developed personality are very different.
For the formation of a sense of humor, a sense of self-irony is of great importance, which in turn is associated with self-acceptance and self-understanding. The second element is psychological safety, a sense of security and self-confidence.
Without a sense of humor, it is hard for both the person himself and his environment. But you can develop it.
- First of all, remember what lies at its foundation: a high level of development of cognitive abilities. Accordingly, train your intellect, memory, thinking.
- Read books, watch movies. Firstly, books develop us, and secondly, there you can find a lot of witticisms, interesting images. The more often you come across a pattern, the more firmly it will take root in your subconscious mind. Ask someone to “decode” humor for you, gradually you yourself will learn to see it. A little later he will be able to come up with jokes for himself.
- Expand your horizons, replenish your vocabulary. Master communication techniques.
- How to joke? You take some image that is not important for you and your interlocutor and, using analogy, compare it with something (“Well, you are just like …”) or, using logic, come up with an outcome of events (“You would still …”).
- Develop self-irony. To do this, you need to realize your shortcomings and accept them, and then learn to use them calmly.
- Memorize and tell jokes. Most likely, this method is suitable for beginner pranksters. But gradually, if you follow other recommendations, you will be able to joke yourself. Tell anecdotes in a theme and very artistic, conveying emotions with words and gestures.
- Do not be afraid to answer a joke with a joke. Witty people attract each other. It is always pleasant to hear a worthy answer, to realize the kinship of soul and intellect.
- Learn to see something funny in everyday life: here in the crowd a lady walks in a funny hat like Shapoklyak’s, but a beauty salon has a funny signboard, and there is a man, well, a copy of a cartoon character.
- Watch the performances of stand-up artists, comedians. How gracefully they joke about the faults of the world or their own flaws! But not all authors, some slide into vulgarity. In my opinion, George Carlin is an excellent stand-up artist in his genre.
- Always observe the reaction of others to your jokes. You can directly ask someone close to you to observe you, criticize, help, suggest.
In general, you need to self-develop and grow personally.
Exercises to develop a sense of humor
Set aside at least an hour a day for each exercise.
Ambiguity
Remember as many words with double meanings as possible. The principle of such jokes: in the first sentence we think about one sense, and already in the second we understand that the meaning was different. That’s why it’s funny.
From the opposite
The easiest way. Learn to comment on things by presenting them in the opposite sense. This is how expressions are born a la “You are smart today” (when a person is in front of us in a clearly dented form). The main thing is not to go to the extreme of insults and sarcastic humor. It is with the technique “from the opposite” that such a danger exists.
Associations
Look for some interesting elements in your friends and come up with associations for them on paper. You can come up with anything, but if the “guinea pig” is better off not knowing, then burn and tear the papers.
Fantasies
Choose one letter every day and try to come up with sentences consisting of words exclusively for that letter. Let it come out unreal, absurd. Does not matter! You learn to be creative, develop your thinking, imagination, expand your vocabulary.
You can always develop a sense of humor. Yes, some are naturally more endowed with wit, some less, but this is not so important. It would even be more accurate to say that someone has a higher natural emotionality and sensitivity, but the sharpness and flexibility of the intellect, abstract-logical and creative thinking, as well as understanding people and situations, is a profitable business. The main thing is not to be lazy and to improve yourself regularly.
