Once I was very worried that before every serious event, performance I was so nervous that I either overwhelm everything, or I forget something, I’ll say in a different tone, I don’t give it so brightly. People worry before a meeting, when applying for a job, when a loved one does not answer, etc. You cannot list all the situations. However, there are universal methods of rebalancing.
Why worry is dangerous
When a person is nervous, they miss important events, worrying about little things. At this time, he has:
- decreased mental activity, the ability to focus;
- deteriorating cognitive abilities (which makes you even more nervous – a vicious circle);
- control over non-verbal speech and situation is lost;
- efficiency decreases, fatigue increases, fatigue sets in.
Work on your life plan, values and priorities. This allows you to pay attention to important events, and not worry about every trifle. Remind yourself constantly of your main goals and plans. Carry the list with you.
Reasons for concern
First of all, you need to explain the reasons for the concern, disassemble them point by point. Identify not only the situation and your emotions, but also the internal factors. So, for example, anxiety before a public speech is a consequence of poor preparation or fear of being ridiculed, self-doubt, shyness, ignorance of the topic.
The nervous state is usually accompanied by anxiety and fear. This is the body’s natural reaction to a threat. It remains to be seen whether the threat is real. In the case of the previous example, think about what happens if you make a mistake or someone does not accept your presentation. Is it so dangerous and important for life?
But the anxiety before flying on an airplane is quite justified. There is always a potential threat. But in this case, nothing depends on you, so you just need to accept all possible options.
So, identify the specific emotions and feelings, the cause of the anxiety, its object. Determine the influence of external and internal factors, your participation in the situation.
What to do
There is no need to deny and repeat “I am calm”. Accept, acknowledge the fact of nervous tension. After acceptance and analysis, move on to action:
- Inhale and exhale. Popular, simple, and really effective advice. Breathing techniques relieve tension, restore blood flow and hormones. Inhale deeply, hold your breath and exhale slowly. Concentrate on your breathing. Body and mind are one. When you feel in control of your breathing, it will be easier to regain control of your thoughts. Try the Five-Three technique. Inhale for five, hold for three, exhale for five, hold for three. So ten times. Breathe in your stomach: inflate as you inhale, inhale as you exhale. Concentrate on counting and abdominal movements, so you will be distracted from disturbing thoughts. Monitor your well-being. Respiratory techniques are prohibited for colds, respiratory diseases.
- Think pleasant things. Remember the most delicious food you have eaten, the most melodic music, the most beautiful picture, the most gentle hugs. Think back to a success situation. They happen to any person, it’s just that people sometimes forget about it. Bring back your positive attitude and self-confidence.
- Nervous tension is stress. Calms the rise in blood glucose. To do this, eat something sweet or drink coffee. A quick splash of glucose will restore the energy and physical strength of the body, fill it with hormones of joy. You can not systematically seize stress, but in some situations, chocolate is a medicine.
- Tapping your fingers on the table, walking from corner to corner, rocking on your toes are the body’s subconscious attempts to calm down. But what if you come up with the same, but more conscious and useful? Find an interesting but repetitive activity: someone is embroidering, someone is doing crosswords, or is washing the dishes. Come up with your own ways for different occasions: at home, at work, on the street.
- The previous method is not suitable for all temperaments. If he did not help you, then try to be active on the contrary: push up, run, jump, wave your hands, stomp your feet, swear. In a moment of stress, internal resources are mobilized. An energy is formed that asks for a way out. The yearning that we experience is unspent strength. Let her out. With stress, physical strength is mobilized, thought processes fade into the background. Calm your body to bring your mind back.
- Control your mind through your body. Forbid yourself to fiddle with clothes, stoop, look under your feet. Spread your back, speak loudly and confidently, look straight ahead, demonstrate confidence and calmness.
- Devalue the situation. Will it be important in a month, a year? Does it affect your health, success, well-being? But stress and anxiety greatly affect health. Remember something disturbing from the past right now. Does it matter now? If then there was a different result, would it significantly change the current state of affairs? Did you even remember clearly what you were worried about?
- Keep an anxiety diary. Describe your experiences and observe which ones came true. You will be surprised how much time and effort you spend on inventing. Better get creative, where fantasy is useful.
- Strengthen the nervous system. What you need for this: healthy sleep, good nutrition, regular physical activity, taking vitamins, hobbies, favorite work, meaningfulness of life, meditation or yoga.
- Read D. Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
Make it a rule to sketch your fears and experiences. It is not necessary to have the appropriate skills. Depict your fear (how it goes), look at it, meet it, accept it. Now finish drawing a funny hat or yourself in the form of a knight. Perhaps your fear will take on the guise of a specific person. Or yourself. Why not?
Sometimes the causes of anxiety are deeply rooted in childhood. Once rejected, a person is afraid of this all his life, and therefore often worries and worries. To eliminate psychological trauma, visit a psychotherapist, as in this case, self-regulation advice will not help.
Nervousness as a Personality Trait
Psychology knows many qualifications of personality types. According to one of them (by Heimans – Le Senn), there is a nervous type. It is characterized by emotionality, low activity and primacy. Such a person:
- reacts violently to any little things, takes everything to heart;
- thinks for a long time before acting;
- easily succumbs to emotions, but just as quickly forgets about them (mood instability).
The nervous type lives by desires and impressions. He does not like boredom and monotony. If this is your case, then advice with monotonous actions will not work. On the contrary, it is necessary to find numerous sources of different emotions. The main trait to deal with is suspicion.
The author of another classification, Karl Leonhard, identified the disturbing type. He is characterized by uncertainty in his own actions, self-distrust, suspiciousness, timidity, indecision, fear of mistakes, an overly expressed sense of responsibility, self-criticism.
The anxious type initially has a low resistance to stress. This is a personality trait that cannot be eradicated, but can be corrected. Read more about this in the article “How to get rid of anxiety.”
